jimmy jamesAbilify My Eye
July 1st 2009 05:11
BACKWORD or forward?
Hello fellow travelers out there in mental health land! How does this day find you? Are you enjoying this blessed day and learning to accept yourself for who you are and taking life as it comes? Or have you fallen prey to your own humanness and found yourself dangling through the cracks of the ill fated mental health system? Well, keep your head up high my comrades, for the mental health field has come a long way since the days of chaining people to the walls. I mean after all, there will always be some sort of stigma attached to mental health, because if you really try and break it all down, this is all in our heads. And there are those among us who feel that people who need to see a psychiatrist, ought to have their head examined. So here’s the deal, if you are bipolar, and you have substance abuse in your history, let’s face it, your just a drunk and or addict. Take care of those main problems, and you should be okay.
My doctor referred me to a “Specialist” on bipolar. This particular doctor doesn’t have bipolar so if they are in fact a specialist, I don’t know how affective they would be.
Medication has always been a sore spot for me personally. I have never responded well to any medication, at least long term. Six months is the longest that they last until things start going haywire. I experience thoughts and feelings that are far worse than what I originally began taking the medication for. When we arrive at this juncture, I sometimes wonder if we get too whacked out to determine which way is up and we lose the ability to be our own advocates while losing the ability to gain a different perspective that could help us get by with out the added side effects and side effects from the side effects.
Either way, I have come to this crossroads again.
oh lawdy, lawdy help me
I told my new doctor that sometimes meds do not make things better or worse, they just seem to make them different. Her response was, “That is a good choice of words, and they SEEM to make things different”.
Perhaps I can use the perspective I have gained from a clear mind and realize that the mere thought of going back on medication only seems to be the answer to help me get through this rough crossroads. This is not the same crossroads as before, it only seems that way.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
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