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Help For Your Depression - Help For Your Depression

You Are Not Alone

July 14th 2009 21:47


So, how does it feel to know that there are millions of other people that are probably feeling the same way you are right now? Somewhere along God’s green earth there is another human being, animal, or let me just say sentient being that is feeling sadness, and depression. It might comfort you to think that perhaps not too far away there is another person feeling anger and rage, jealousy and bone chilling fear, or perhaps the overwhelming feeling of grief you are feeling at this very moment is being felt all over the world by people that are grieving over the loss of a pet or a loved one. Whatever the pain you experience, do you look to connect to all that may be suffering as a way of coming to terms with your own pain?


There are some people that can do this to a certain level. And then there are those that tell you that they know what you are feeling, they know what you are going through. These well balanced travelers speak as if they have been to the highest peaks and back again, only to tell you that they got through it and so can you. They will even be so kind as to tell you how and what you are doing wrong based upon their own experience, which really doesn’t mean a thing because after all, it was their own experience, not yours.

It is always good to have others to bounce things off of, and if you are in any kind of recovery from mental illness or substance abuse (same thing), then having people as supports are vital in developing a ritual that can keep your life in balance.


But the main part is you. Find out what makes you tick. Find out what you got. Self esteem is an ongoing discovery. Things on the outside can give us self esteem. Things such as a job, a relationship, and hobbies can help pull us up off the ground and give us a sense of self, a feeling that we can look other people in the eyes and feel good about who we are. These things can give us confidence that grows stronger with the knowledge that we are pulling our own weight, not having to rely on anyone but ourselves. But self esteem doesn’t hold up very well when it is based upon things. What happens when these things don‘t last? What is left? The foundation of a job and a relationship and all the other surface stuff isn’t very strong and it can only hold up as long as these things remain in place. I often wonder how much we hide behind these superficial things.

Working can be very rewarding for some, yet for me I always found it wanting. By simply holding down a job, we are showing that we are just another Bozo on the bus, capable of the same ole same old shit, different day. And pursuing a “career” can be frustrating because sometimes we think that once we get outta school and land that big job, that we will have arrived! This sorta works for some, but how do you explain all those unhappy people out there?

It is easy to fall into the same trap with relationships. Society seems to tell us that we need to have the basic stuff down: A job, money, a place to live, and of course a member of the opposite sex with whom to share our biggest dreams with! Isn’t that exciting???
If that is what makes you happy, if that keeps you afloat. Perhaps you are doing yourself injustice by this narrow thinking. It’s up to you. Show them what you got!
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Abilify My Eye

July 1st 2009 05:11
BACKWORD or forward?


Hello fellow travelers out there in mental health land! How does this day find you? Are you enjoying this blessed day and learning to accept yourself for who you are and taking life as it comes? Or have you fallen prey to your own humanness and found yourself dangling through the cracks of the ill fated mental health system? Well, keep your head up high my comrades, for the mental health field has come a long way since the days of chaining people to the walls. I mean after all, there will always be some sort of stigma attached to mental health, because if you really try and break it all down, this is all in our heads. And there are those among us who feel that people who need to see a psychiatrist, ought to have their head examined. So here’s the deal, if you are bipolar, and you have substance abuse in your history, let’s face it, your just a drunk and or addict. Take care of those main problems, and you should be okay.
I always wonder about the bad rap folks with bipolar get. They always seem to start drinking and drugging when they stop taking the meds. There is an important question that is rarely addressed; why do they stop taking the meds? For some, they might feel as though they are cured and no longer need to take the meds, then there are those that may feel as though the meds are increasing the symptoms, making the mania worse, the anxiety worse, the irritability worse, and even though using alcohol and drugs may not be the answer, and we can whole heartedly admit truth by our own past experiences of taking this road over and over again, however relief is relief, no matter how short it may be, there is some sort of release from the pain and suffering.
I am not too concerned with all the new meds and all the new studies that have been done because it is all hogwash when it gets applied to different lives.
My doctor referred me to a “Specialist” on bipolar. This particular doctor doesn’t have bipolar so if they are in fact a specialist, I don’t know how affective they would be.
Medication has always been a sore spot for me personally. I have never responded well to any medication, at least long term. Six months is the longest that they last until things start going haywire. I experience thoughts and feelings that are far worse than what I originally began taking the medication for. When we arrive at this juncture, I sometimes wonder if we get too whacked out to determine which way is up and we lose the ability to be our own advocates while losing the ability to gain a different perspective that could help us get by with out the added side effects and side effects from the side effects.
Either way, I have come to this crossroads again.
oh lawdy, lawdy help me

I told my new doctor that sometimes meds do not make things better or worse, they just seem to make them different. Her response was, “That is a good choice of words, and they SEEM to make things different”.
Perhaps I can use the perspective I have gained from a clear mind and realize that the mere thought of going back on medication only seems to be the answer to help me get through this rough crossroads. This is not the same crossroads as before, it only seems that way.


And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
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Sad? I dont know

March 24th 2009 06:04



I don’t know about you but the past few days I have been waking up extremely depressed.
My head actually hurts and my body hurts as well. Maybe it is just some funky biological thing that is going around because everyone I know seems to be feeling the same way. Living here in wonderful beautiful New England we are blessed with four seasons and this winter seems as though it has lasted much longer than usual. We also have the daylight savings time thing going on that really twists up most folks body clocks. Then of course there is SAD.Seasonal affective disorder. Now I don’t know how this diagnosis came about, I am not a big advocate of doing research because it always comes up inconclusive. Even the most in depth, well funded research performed by the latest and the greatest psychologists and psychiatrists are often followed by the famous words: I Don’t Know?
depression i dont know

Could it be that depression is seasonal? Makes sense. There's baseball season, football season, and depression season.
It could very well be that people who are diagnosed with SAD have always had some sort of depression but they never acknowledged it because it never became an issue with them until they began feeling the symptoms that would start to make their life a little difficult to manage. It could be that they always felt somewhat “down” but were able to plow through it. Personally, I’ve always felt depressed. I am what I like to call naturally depressed. There are those that claim that it is my negative thinking that makes me depressed. I agree. To a certain extent. The thing is, even while thinking positive, I still feel depressed at times. Guess it just sucks to be me.

it sucks to be me
WHOA IS ME


This probably is a bad time to talk about this condition because it is almost April and we already have more sunlight. But these are some hard times we are going through these days. Just going out and about in public can be a harrowing experience. People always looked so pissed off and miserable to me ever since I can remember, but when economic insecurity hits, people get real ugly. Depression can turn to anger and anger to rage and people just aint all that much fun to be around. Depression is anger turned inward. Negative thoughts can be lethal. If something doesn’t go our way we do whatever we can to make it so. When it still doesn’t go our way we try even harder and fight to the end. That is the key for me. To stop fighting.

When negative thoughts come, they often blindside us and we blackout and act and think the way we always did. As I grow older I have become very aware of what I am thinking and how much my thinking affects my feelings, and how those feelings grow to trigger even bigger thoughts of negativity. I used to think that I spiraled down into a depression, but what really happens is it builds up and grows bigger and snowballs into a huge glacier of twisted emotions and feelings that keep me paralyzed, sometimes for days or weeks or even months at a clip. This sort of thinking can really do damage and we are always the last to know. It’s not that we are doing anything wrong; it might not even be that there is anything wrong with us mentally or physically, yet it can lead into a full blown mental illness that can do some severe damage. The key is awareness. It is very difficult to attempt to sort out our feelings, thoughts, and emotions when we are medicated. Some feelings are going to hurt, and some of our emotions are going to be intense, and crazy racy thoughts will pop into our heads at times. We cant control it. But we can come to realize that this is the way it is supposed to be.
My doctor wanted me to go on another type of medication. She explained that there were practically no side effects, that’s what she said about the last medication I was on that caused me a great deal of anxiety. She came to the conclusion that I was the only one that had experienced that kind of side effect. I asked her if I could get some sort of gold star for this rare experience with this medication, because I gotta tell y’all, it really tipped my life over for a few months!
But the gold star is the experience itself. Perhaps the medication was what I needed to get me through. It is clear to me now that it was something I just had to go through and it has given me a different perspective on life. Because this is your life. Take it or leave it. It gets better if we let it!

Keep the faith
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The Medication Maze

June 3rd 2008 05:53
Medications can be a touchy subject.There is always the risk of side effects that seem to make you wonder if you really feel bad enough to go through the painful period of starting a new med,getting used to it,then realizing it isn't right for you,so you have to come off of it.Then you are prescribed another medication and you have to go through all that again.That's at least 8 weeks of pure volcanic hell.After a while you get to feel as though you got hit upside the head with a sledge hammer.I like to use the anology of a boxer getting knocked to his knees,then as he gains his balance and attempts to fight again,he is hit again.It is just like being on a therapeutic dose and having another attack of the depression so what happens? The medication level gets raised and you get knocked to your knees again.


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