jimmy jamesthe recovery path
February 28th 2009 06:58
There are times when depression has a way of seeping into every area of life. First it just affects us personally, causing a change in moods and then a change in outlook on life. It can start to cripple by depleting any energy to do the things that need we need to do in order to get through every day. It continues to get bigger as the depression escalates into anger and our actions begin to tear down the lives we had worked so hard to build. Not getting to work on time can cause trouble at work and we may get verbal warnings. This does not help self esteem and we begin to sink further by calling out of work, to eventually losing the job by walking out or being fired. Our relationships with others start to get strained and nobody seems to be on our side. We begin to feel there is nowhere to turn so the only thing left to do is to turn to the old friends booze and drugs.
After a few bad episodes of drinking, one might find themselves in the emergency room after a rough night of heavy drinking, locked in the drunk tank for hours and sometimes days on end waiting to see a psychiatrist or someone that resembles a psychiatrist. Social workers are the ones that sometimes step in and get us into a rehab if we have insurance.
We go through a detox and decide to go to AA meetings again, even though we have not been able stay sober for any period of time.
Getting back on medication, things go well for a spell and then the depression gets deeper, we go back to the doctor and they raise the medication. That still doesn’t work, in fact it may make things unbearable, so we turn to what we think works for us: Alcohol and drugs. Some of the experiences of drinking while on medications, particularly mood stabilizers were not good to say the least, ending up back at the hospital again with the nursing staff saying “ You again.”
It took a while to understand that alcohol is a depressant, yet I would feel my mood elevated at times, it would always turn on me. But even if I could get only just an hour of relief from all the mind chatter, it was well worth it, because staying sober and being on meds wasn’t cutting it. This is the worst feeling ever. Don’t want to continue using, yet there isn’t enough of a desire to stop. Becoming homeless always seemed inevitable.
Sometimes all we need is just a little bit of faith that we can stop. Maybe if there were some folks that could have faith for us. Trying to attend meetings we look for every opportunity to do the right thing.
It is hard to stay on the recovery path.There are so many distractions and fear can really take over because we may feel we are not on the right path.
Maybe the best thing to do is to just try and stay sober for a while.Depression can make life seem so useless and pointless and nothing seems to make sense.All there is an overwhelming hopelessness.If we can try and give it time and stay away from using, those feelings can begin to sort themselves out and sometimes we need more help than just AA or a therapist.But the important part is to have hope.Give it a chance.Sometimes the addiction and the depression are two seperate things that work together, yet it isn't always easy to tell which is which, even after long periods of sobriety.It can appear to be an illusion, but either way, depression can and will lead back to a drink and a drug if we try to deal with it on our own.
There are sober houses that offer those with a very short time of sobriety a place to live and a way to get back into life by support of a living environment of others that are doing the same. There are many towns that have sober houses. The best way to find them is to get involved in an AA group in your town, or most impatient programs will release people into these houses as aftercare. The point is that there is help.
I would like to let you know of one house in particular.
If you live in the Berkeley California area, there are rooms to rent for clean and sober men (minimum 28 days sobriety) in a lovely house on Hilltop Drive in El Sobrante.
Clean and Sober House
Men Only
MUST HAVE 28 DAYS of SOBRIETY
APPLY NOW!
Call Marilyn 510-374-8070 or Greg 510-453-5638
House Manager has 15 years sobriety
Clean & sober environment designed
for individuals in transition from addiction to recovery
Attendance at weekly 12 step, and house meetings required
$570.00 per month $400 deposit
Newly Remodeled Home
Bus Stop right next door!
FREE Internet Access -FREE Washer/Dryer
FREE PG&E, Water, & Trash
Patio with BBQ
Clean & Sober House
Marilyn 510-374-8070 Greg 510-453-5638
Keep the faith
We go through a detox and decide to go to AA meetings again, even though we have not been able stay sober for any period of time.
Getting back on medication, things go well for a spell and then the depression gets deeper, we go back to the doctor and they raise the medication. That still doesn’t work, in fact it may make things unbearable, so we turn to what we think works for us: Alcohol and drugs. Some of the experiences of drinking while on medications, particularly mood stabilizers were not good to say the least, ending up back at the hospital again with the nursing staff saying “ You again.”
It took a while to understand that alcohol is a depressant, yet I would feel my mood elevated at times, it would always turn on me. But even if I could get only just an hour of relief from all the mind chatter, it was well worth it, because staying sober and being on meds wasn’t cutting it. This is the worst feeling ever. Don’t want to continue using, yet there isn’t enough of a desire to stop. Becoming homeless always seemed inevitable.
Sometimes all we need is just a little bit of faith that we can stop. Maybe if there were some folks that could have faith for us. Trying to attend meetings we look for every opportunity to do the right thing.
the recovery path
It is hard to stay on the recovery path.There are so many distractions and fear can really take over because we may feel we are not on the right path.
Maybe the best thing to do is to just try and stay sober for a while.Depression can make life seem so useless and pointless and nothing seems to make sense.All there is an overwhelming hopelessness.If we can try and give it time and stay away from using, those feelings can begin to sort themselves out and sometimes we need more help than just AA or a therapist.But the important part is to have hope.Give it a chance.Sometimes the addiction and the depression are two seperate things that work together, yet it isn't always easy to tell which is which, even after long periods of sobriety.It can appear to be an illusion, but either way, depression can and will lead back to a drink and a drug if we try to deal with it on our own.
There are sober houses that offer those with a very short time of sobriety a place to live and a way to get back into life by support of a living environment of others that are doing the same. There are many towns that have sober houses. The best way to find them is to get involved in an AA group in your town, or most impatient programs will release people into these houses as aftercare. The point is that there is help.
I would like to let you know of one house in particular.
If you live in the Berkeley California area, there are rooms to rent for clean and sober men (minimum 28 days sobriety) in a lovely house on Hilltop Drive in El Sobrante.
Clean and Sober House
Men Only
MUST HAVE 28 DAYS of SOBRIETY
APPLY NOW!
Call Marilyn 510-374-8070 or Greg 510-453-5638
House Manager has 15 years sobriety
Clean & sober environment designed
for individuals in transition from addiction to recovery
Attendance at weekly 12 step, and house meetings required
$570.00 per month $400 deposit
Newly Remodeled Home
Bus Stop right next door!
FREE Internet Access -FREE Washer/Dryer
FREE PG&E, Water, & Trash
Patio with BBQ
Clean & Sober House
Marilyn 510-374-8070 Greg 510-453-5638
Keep the faith
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